I have an 18-month-old niece in need of a teddy bear. So I thought that would make a great Christmas present, maybe even starting a trend of being the uncle with the cool presents. Okay, that’s a stretch, but one can aspire to greatness, right?
So like every other major purchase, I begin my quest for the perfect teddy bear online. I first visit the venerable Vermont Teddy Bear. Let me say, they have terrific stuff. But while perusing their site, I learned two things. One, an 18-month-old does not need a fancy bear dressed up as a firefighter or a surgeon. No, I was looking for high quality, but basic. And two, I realized right away that I was not going to be able to make this purchase online – I needed to feel it and eyeball the height and weight, etc. I needed to put my hands on it before I bought it. A teddy bear is not like a book or airline tickets. A bear requires a personal interview.
Now I have little experience with kids, and even less with toys. So I email a friend and ask for help. Her sage advice is to visit a store called Build-A-Bear where kids can create a bear and build it right there in the store. It’s an excellent concept. My friend says, “Your niece gets the bear of her dreams and you get to spend time with her.” My friend even offers to play tour guide. I think she realized how out of my depth I truly was and took pity on me.
Well I thought about this for a while. And I came to the conclusion that my niece is a bit young to appreciate the Build-A-Bear concept. They are a lot like Vermont Teddy Bear – Both retailers really sell specialty bears – and I’m still going for basic. But my judgment in these matters is not to be trusted, so I call the mother-in-charge, my sister. Yes, she knew of Build-A-Bear, but she agreed that her daughter is too young to appreciate it.
Later, I’m relaying this story to another friend, Vanna. Now her step-mother has been in and out of the hospital recently battling cancer. Vanna says, well to tell you the truth, the best teddy bears I’ve seen lately are found at hospital gift shops. Sigh.
So yesterday, I set off, sans tour guide, on the great bear hunt. First to Toys-R-Us. It’s a week before Christmas, you can imagine the traffic. I learned right away – Do not even think about beating a mother in a minivan to a decent parking space. I parked next door and walked over. Now, Toys-R-Us had a limited selection of stuffed animals of dubious distinction. Evidently, low-tech toys are not in this year. It took more time to find the aisle than it did to realize the parking battle had been for naught.
My next idea was Disney. I remember years ago visiting a Disney store with Winnie-the-Pooh in various sizes. Hell, I did not even know if Disney stores were still around. But, I know a guy and I made a call – And while sitting in the car outside of the Toys-R-Us, the Verizon operator connected me with our one local Disney store. So I abandoned the big boxes and headed for the mall.
The traffic went from terrible to miserable. But what the heck, I had decided to make a day of it. And, I actually scored a better parking space at the mall than I had at Toy-R-Us. It was a good sign, right? Truth-be-told, I was feeling pretty confident at this point – I had a plan: A destination and a target. Pooh would be perfect.
Turns out, the Disney store is right next to Build-A-Bear. No kidding. And, I’m thinking this is childs play. So I march in and immediately spy the stuffed animals at the back of the store. Well, turns out Pooh comes in two sizes: Too big and too small. And decidedly not, just right. Okay, I think, this is not a problem, I’ll just go with too big and be done with it. Ah, but I don’t see any. So I ask a store associate to point me to the big Poohs – And it’s a week before Christmas and they are sold out. They are OUT! Will you get more? “We never know.” Where’s the next nearest store? “An hour and a half away.” Should I just go with too small? No, that did not meet my very important goal of being the uncle with the cool presents. So my Pooh idea died right there in the Disney store.
But on the bright side – I’m parked and in a huge mall. Surely, there’s the perfect teddy bear here somewhere. First, I hit the Build-A-Bear next door. It’s everything my friend said it was and perfect for what it is. But unfortunately, it’s not what I need. I long for my tour guide. So I start wandering the mall. The store associate at Disney told me that Sears has some Disney products – so I head in that direction. On the way, I keep a sharp eye out for bears. I remembered someone saying Godiva Chocolate has “cute” bears. I pass one on my way to Sears, and they do – Too small.
Anyway, the Sears’ Disney products are inferior to the Disney store’s Disney products. Duh. So, I venture to Macy’s. Now Macy’s has only one bear, but it's perfect – truly. It also happens to be the most expensive one I saw all day. But alas – Too small. Brooks Brothers has bears (who knew?), but not basic.
I stop for coffee. Now, I don’t often shop in malls, but I can see why people do. It’s lovely actually. Crowded of course, but a retailing Mecca. Again I long for my tour guide. I wander around for another hour or so, but no luck in the bear hunt.
Finally, crestfallen, I abandon the mall and my lovely parking space. By this time, it’s later in the day, and traffic has gone from miserable to catastrophic. I decide to sneak out the back of the mall parking lot and return to my office the back way.
Now it just so happens that the back way from Crabtree Valley Mall to my office goes right past Rex Hospital. And it’s Rex where Vanna’s step-mother has been battling cancer. I know the family, but I have no idea whether she’s in the hospital. But I’m here, and I’ll go see her if she is. Free parking – At a hospital, hard to believe. Anyway, I march up to the information counter and ask if she is there. The lady at the counter consults her computer and says, no, but perhaps we’re spelling it wrong. (Who stops into a hospital on a whim, right?) No, I say, but since she’s not here, could you point me to the gift shop? Now, the lady looks at me like I’m from another planet, but she manages to direct me to the shop.
And there, in the Rex Hospital gift shop, I find the perfect bear. As I walk outside with my newfound treasure, it begins to snow.
Merry Christmas.